A sudden year-end evaluation

Waking up from a short nap this afternoon, i felt extremely empty. I didn't feel like I was in the mood of enjoying and celebrating the coming long holliday. I am now even having this feeling. I don't know why sadness always calls my name while i don't deserve it.

Suddenly, i got that i usually want to come back to the time when i was working at my previous company. While I was working here, i never had negative thought like Ones i'm having now.at that time, i always cared about myself and people around. I used to have a desire of making them smile. I didnt use to worry much about what and how i could build up my future.

My life was actually great 3 months ago. Right after i quit that job, i was so excited to take on things that might bring me better incomes and professional promotions. Although i have been able to eRn more than before, perhaps twice times more than the amount i use to get, i dont feel happy now.

I often worry about things like being jobless, not having money and health, being robbed or killed, and so on. I'm figuring it out why i dont feel happy and safe from today and hope i will soon get over this such terrible state.